SCD Community
Laughter is good for you!
While the SCD listserve and this web site are dedicated to discussion of IBD, IBS, BTVC, etc., a bit of off-topic humor manages to get onto the list from time to time. Here are some of the best messages we've seen!
Lightbulb Joke
Question: How many SCD mailing list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? (or, "you know you subscribe to a listserve when..") Answer: 1,343 1 to actually change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed; 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently; 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 53 to flame the spelling/grammar critics 1 to correct the spelling and grammar in the spelling/grammar flames 6 to argue whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" 156 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to lightbulb-list 203 to demand that cross posting to grammar-l, spelling-l and illuminati-l about changing light bulbs be stopped 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty 27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs 14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and to post the corrected URL's 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list 33 to link all posts to date, then quote them (including all headers and footers) and then add "Me too" 12 to advise the list that they are unsubscribing because they are upset with the light bulb controversy 19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three" 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ 44 to ask what is "FAQ" 4 to ask "Didn't we go through this a short time ago on Usenet?" 143 to ask "what's Usenet?"
Dangerous food
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."
Matzo humor
We need to laugh about food once in a while so here goes. A Jewish gentleman sits down at his favorite park bench during Passover and so is snacking on matzo instead of his favorite dark rye bread. After a while a blind fellow sits down next to him and feeling neighbourly, the Jewish gentleman passes the blind fellow a matzo with his compliments. The blind fellow fingers the matzo for a few moments and finally turns to the Jewish gentleman and says "Who wrote this crap?" - Michael Windrim
Poupon U. The following is ripped from the Crohns-Colitis Usenet: Hi Everyone: I was looking at the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum Catalog yesterday (yes, there really is a Mount Horeb Wisconsin Mustard Museum) and thought that the sweat shirts they sell in the catalog might be of interest to those of us with IBD. The shirts advertise the university that the museum created. The shirts say: Poupon U. Rebecca :-) (who is sure she has graduated from this university. . .)   Butt Icons Happy Friday, this was in my inbox! I never laughed so hard in my life! :-) Hi, we all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively. And sometimes they're even facing the other way (c: Well, how about some "ass icons"? Here goes: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_._) a flat ass (_^_) a bubble ass (_*_) a sore ass (_!__) a lop-sided ass {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that's been around (_O_) an ass that's been around even more (_x_) kiss my ass (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_o^o_) a wise ass (_13_) an unlucky ass (_$_) Money coming out of his ass (_?_) Dumb Ass   Doodie.com Tom Winkler's Doodie.com is a wonderful place for those of us that have spent way too much time on the toilet!   Convenience or travesty? Could this be the CCFA posterboy? Could this be the ideal office?